Conscience
by In The Beginning
Summary: His guilt consumed him... true happiness had long ago abandoned him. But maybe... maybe he wasn't as damned as he thought. NB Spoilers


(After this, I'm taking a nice long break from life.

That means I'm actually going to start sleeping again.

This is a kind of emo oneshot... and Markus' thoughts seem kind of OOC, just so you know. But... I still like it.

Which is why all you suckers are stuck with reading this. :D

Oh, wait-- for those of you who haven't played yet, spoilers! SpoilersspoilersSPOILERS!! RAR!

Well then, let's begin.

Markus, Val, Wilkens © Nintendo

Stigma © Nintendo)

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Conscience

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_It's haunting me..._

His pen slowed, its inky trail fading away as the pressure on the utensil disappeared.

_Why can't it just... disappear..._

The thin fingers holding the writing tool paused as the pestering thoughts pervaded his normally peaceful suppositions...

A quiet sigh finally broke the heavy silence.

_Why can't __**I**__... just disappear..._

Markus' heart was heavy with his guilty conscience...

And his eyes were heavy with sleep.

His fingers finally relinquished their grasp on the thin black pen. The soft clatter of plastic on paper was muffled as Markus leaned back in his chair, yawning quietly, stretching his tired, cramped hands.

Presently, a thought crept into his mind, latching on and refusing to let go. The impatient energy it brought with it settled in Markus' thin fingers, making them curl against his will...

Letting out yet another soft sigh, Markus rose from his seat.

His hands longed to wrap around something else...

Around a cup of strong coffee, blacker than the sin that tore at his soul.

The halls of Caduceus seemed so much larger than usual when the building was nearly empty; the only sounds were the echoing footsteps as Markus slowly strode to the staff lounge.

But that wasn't the only thing he heard.

_After all, wasn't it your wish three years ago that it all just... disappear?_

A feeble smirk played at Markus' tired lips.

_Yes... it was. I guess I was a fool to believe that you wouldn't continue researching, Professor... You always loved trying to understand the incomprehensible, no matter what the danger was..._

The faint smile faded.

_...but look what it's led to. And... it's because of me..._

Markus stopped in front of the door, his troubled emotions evident in his dark hazel eyes.

_After what I've done... I don't even deserve to be here..._

"Markus...?"

His head shot up--

Valerie's hand rested gently on Markus' arm.

"Are you alright? You were just standing here... and you've been pretty distracted today..."

He forced a small smile.

_If only you knew, Val... you wouldn't want to ask._

"I'm fine, Val. It's just... been a long day, that's all."

"Well, just finish that report and then you're free, right?" Val chuckled. "This is why God invented coffee... I assume that's why you're here? Well, let's get some, then."

"Well then... ladies first."

"Go right ahead, Markus."

"Oh..._ ouch._ That hurt, Val. How could you go and injure my delicate feelings like that?"

Val laughed as she followed Markus into the empty staff lounge...

"...there's no coffee... whoever was here last forgot to make a new pot..."

"I will, then. Go ahead and relax, Markus."

He could ignore his disquieting conscience long enough to take an opportunity to slack off. Markus sank into the overstuffed sofa, closing his eyes as he listened to Val fill the coffeemaker with water.

_Val... you're almost too kind, sometimes..._

"It'll be a few minutes... have you been writing _all_ day? I can see it in your hand, it's so tense-- here, give it to me."

Markus' eyes briefly opened as Val sat next to him, taking his hand and gently massaging it.

"You don't have to do that..." he muttered quietly, his eyes sliding shut once again.

It felt nice...

"And listen to you complain all day tomorrow? Not a chance."

A soft chuckle escaped Markus' lips as Valerie continued loosening the tense, sore muscles in his hand.

"So, how's your Stigma paper coming, anyway?"

Val missed Markus' smile vanishing.

"...it's almost done. Then maybe I can just forget about Stigma for a while... won't that be nice."

_I wish it was possible to forget about it..._

"Mm... alright. I'm done with your hand. Is there anything else that hurts?"

Though his thoughts refused to let him truly enjoy being a smartass, a sly grin crept onto Markus' face.

"Oh God, _everything_ hurts, Val... won't you kiss and make it all better?"

The soft smack to the back of his head only elicited a chuckle from the dark-haired surgeon as Val rose to her feet, going to retrieve two cups of coffee.

"You want cream and sugar with yours, Markus?"

He had come here for black coffee, to remind him of the nature of his crime against humanity...

"...yes, please."

...something had happened.

"Here you go, Markus..."

He took the styrofoam cup from Val, carefully sipping the scalding, tanned liquid...

"...Markus, you know... you can tell me anything, right?"

He glanced up at Val, who stared back at him with nervous brown eyes.

"I know that... what makes you bring it up?"

Val paused briefly to take a sip from her coffee.

"Well, ever since the Stigma incident at Concordia... you've been distracted, and you only get like that when something's really bothering you. And... I just want you to know that you can... you can talk to me. I won't tell anyone else..."

Markus couldn't help it...

His lips inadvertently curved into a subtle smile.

"Well, thanks for worrying about me, Val... but it's nothing serious. I'd let you know if there was something important bothering me..."

_I can't tell you this, Val... you'd never understand. But you don't know how grateful I am... that you care._

Val sighed softly.

"Alright... because, y'know... it's not very nice to make the people who really like you worry..."

Markus nearly choked on his coffee.

"W-What-- did you j-just--?!"

"Oh, I'll never tell you...!"

Val laughed as she darted out of the lounge, leaving a very confused Markus behind.

He heaved a sigh...

The faint smile crept back to his lips.

Markus would have to thank her later...

Val had a talent for chasing away his traumatizing thoughts.

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(End oneshot.

Emo emo emo. :D

Please review!)


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